You’re talking to the girl who wouldn’t take yoga class because she’d burst out laughing during savasana – the meditative, still, yoga posture that always ends a session – out of the pure discomfort of being still.
The girl who would rather be doing burpees or mountainclimbers or deadlifting than rest day or yoga/stretch day.
It’s become clear however, that I’m not coming out the other side of Lyme the same girl I went in as.
Never would I have thought that I’d be paying money to sit with a group of people while chanting, holding postures, and meditating, on my only weeknight off work. Every week.
Nor would I have thought that I’d be committing to specific meditations 11 minutes per day, for 11 days; or currently, 11 minutes a day for 90 days. The chants aren’t even in English. I don’t even understand what it is that I am saying. Sometimes I know what the meditation is meant for, or the posture, sometimes I have no idea. And yet now, I can’t imagine my life without it.
Meditation is a game changer.
When I got sick I eventually had to find some other way of achieving the same feeling of mental wellness that I got out of exercise. I had initially begun meditating about 4 years ago using the Headspace app as a way to cope with the mediocre, unhappy, stressful life I had built for myself. It reminded me of exercise in the sense that it was so hard at first and yet, each day got a little bit easier, until I fell in love with it. What I found was that suddenly I felt that I had more time in a day. I was calmer, happier, handled stress better, felt stronger – basically it was giving me everything that exercise was giving me, except I had to still my mind and my body at the same time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to not only still an anxious mind but to learn to sit comfortably within your body as well? The same mind that I spent years learning not to trust due to its anxious and depressive tricks?
Well actually, if you’ve found my blog, you probably do.
It has taken a lot of practice, a lot of awareness, and a lot of curiosity, but I am so grateful for the shifts that my meditation practice has offered my life.
I used the Headspace app for years before stumbling across different groups to join at just the right timing (of course, thank you Universe), and I am now part of three different groups, all with completely different styles, all equally beautiful.
I first found the beautiful and talented Selena Jones who guided me deeper into my meditation practice through her nurturing demeanor, our one on one sessions, her workshops and her Moon Meditation groups. These lead me to Lori Hooper and her inspirational, safe and warm women’s meditation evenings, as well as to a new friend who lead me to Sara McKim at Sacred Roots for her incredible Kundalini style meditation classes which is how I ended up spending every Thursday evening sitting in a group, chanting, holding postures, and sinking deeper into the bliss of meditation.
And bliss it is.
A really good meditation is better than sex. Legit. And chocolate; and oh man do I love chocolate! The dark kind, you know, the good stuff.
These women have opened up a vast new world not only for my meditative practice, but they’ve helped me make more progress in retraining my brain, in healing and releasing trauma, trapped emotions, unhealthy thoughts and behavior, and in seeing a truer perspective of the world than any therapist or medication ever did. And quickly too. They’ve also shown me what true women are meant to be – kind, nurturing, loving, safe – warm. Society teaches us from a young age to dislike each other, judge one another, to have envy, to be bitter, to be mean. For if women were all to come together, the patriarchy would not survive.
Although I loved Headspace for getting me started and comfortable, instructing me on allowing my thoughts to come through and pass while meditating rather than stopping on any of them, I have had more growth in the past 10 months than I did in my 4ish years of using the app.
I like my body, mind and soul to be like I like my house. Clean, uncluttered, open, and light. But each day things pile up, I absorb energy from the people around me throughout the day, from negative thoughts that may pop into my head, from conversations and the news and what I read throughout the day, and just like the dishes piled up in my sink, these need to be cleared from my energy field. This is why I meditate. It makes me a better person. It makes me happier and kinder and more neutral. It shifts my perspectives and does away with unwanted, untrue, self-limiting beliefs. It keeps me self-aware and keeps my thought patterns and behaviors in check.
I want to be the best version of myself that I can possibly be. Not only for myself but for the world. This is why I meditate. It keeps me out of mediocrity. I am simply not a mediocre kind of gal.
Are you stuck in self-limiting beliefs? Mediocrity? Mental illness? Bad habits? Try it out, I dare you.