Loving like an Empath

As an empath I love so strongly and so deeply, for everyone – especially those who don’t know how to love themselves, or anyone else, it seems. I fall in love over and over again and even when I’m not “in love”, I am in my own version of in love that possibly only empaths can begin to understand. I find someone so broken and become overwhelmed with the need to take them in and love them and all of their broken pieces and heal them and make them whole. The problem is, not only that no one can make another person whole, or make them love themselves, but also that I forget to love myself in the process.

Recently I’ve found myself falling back into this deeply entrenched pattern. I’ve caught myself though, and with the help of loving empathic friends, am pulling myself out, and each day that overwhelming urge to love and to heal eases a little bit more and that little bit more gets put back into loving myself and those around me who are ready to receive and return it.

In the years past I have continued this pattern time and time again, typically not pulling myself out until my cup is bone dry, no love has been given to me in months, and I’ve all but completely lost myself. I’ve made the choice not to let that happen this time. And it is a choice. Not an easy one, my stomach is tied and my heart aches and still every fiber of my being wants to love him and heal him and make him whole. That’s what I hear in my head over and over again, that’s what I feel in my body deep within my bones. But it’s not realistic. It’s not healthy. It leaves neither of us whole or healed. It leaves me completely unloved.

I truly believe that the Universe is testing me. SHE wants to know if I am truly ready to move forward into higher vibrations or if I’m going to stick to what I know. Am I going to choose to love myself and set healthy boundaries (scary!) or am I going to continue old patterns on repeat. Am I ready for someone who’s going to love me like a real man? A whole man? Or am I going to stay in my comfort zone of loving those who don’t know how to love at all? My comfort zone of fixing others instead of myself.

The truth is either way I will continue to love him. The same way that I continue to love all of them. But this time I’m choosing to move forward, I’m choosing to love myself. I’m choosing to send him love and healing from afar, from a place where I can heal in tandem. A place where it doesn’t have to just be him.

This is no one’s fault but my own, and I own that. I know now though, that I deserve to be loved too. I deserve to be healed. And no one can do that for me but me; no one can do that for him but him.

Forgiving myself and letting go of someone who I believe needs my love, before I’m forced to, is not within my nature. I’m learning about energetically cutting chords and that has helped significantly. But mostly, I just keep reminding myself of reality. My goals to find love and have a family. My illness and how it doesn’t leave a lot of room for shenanigans like this. That I am the creator of my life and that all of these choices build the life that I will live. What do I want that life to look like?

Are you an empath?
Do you get caught up in trying to heal others who may not even want to be healed?
What choices will you make differently to raise your vibrations and love yourself?

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