December 28, 2017

Last night there was a bat in my bedroom.

Okay I’m at the cabin so really it was in the trailer but it was flying through my bedroom in the trailer! Once I stopped screaming I realized it was actually pretty cute. Anyways, since I’m learning that there are no coincidences I figure it has to symbolize something but I had no internet to look it up so I asked the universe to please show me in my dreams very clearly what the bat was here to show me or symbolize.

Hey Universe, I trust that this bat in my bedroom must have been a symbol from you. There are no coincidences. Please show me clearly in my dreams why the bat was here and what I need to know. Please show me this in a way that is undeniably clear to me and allow me to remember my dream.

Well in my dream I was in my hometown village, they were putting on some kind of celebration and I was volunteering at one of the booths when a woman came up and dropped her child off with me, which was apparently normal. So this sweet little girl who I was calling Tanner and I went about our day in the village, I’m not too sure what my booth actually was but at one point I was doing her hair. I guess the details weren’t important for me to remember but during this day two big things happened. A young adult runaway accidentally met her teenage brother that she didn’t know about and she blew them both up. And meanwhile the celebration in the village is ending and Tanner’s mom never came back for her and she’s now telling me her name is Desiree. (The same name as my current co-worker). We search each booth for clues on what her last name could be, we check the nearby apartment buildings, we never do find her mom and I wake up.
Well, Universe, I have a bone to pick with you because that was not clear at all! At first I thought it was referencing my inner child that feels abandoned and needs someone to nurture her. Then when I realized she had the same name as my coworker I thought maybe it’s telling me to treat her with the same nurturing and forgiveness that I would a child. Both of these make sense for my real life, but the bombing of the siblings?! Maybe it’s trying to tell me that I need to be closer to my brother but I feel that I have done all that I can in order to be closer to him, not that we have a bad relationship to begin with but we just aren’t that close since he moved in with his girlfriend and her child.

I’m going to have to do more research on the symbolism of bats and maybe touch base with my mentors and come back to this.

Later on at night…

More of my dream has started to come back to me throughout the day but I am still unsure of their significance. One piece is me showing up at my girlfriend’s apartment (which was not her real-life home) to retrieve my book she borrowed called You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero. When I was there she had these strange little gremlin creatures that I can only describe as tiny miniature apes. They were diving into her indoor, inground pool (also not a real thing in Ladner apartments).
The other piece that came back to me is especially strange as it was an old, short term, drug-dealing boyfriend that in real life I was determined I could save (while really wanting him to save me), coming to me to tell me that he never should have had children before meeting me. That I was his biggest regret. Now, obviously I can’t say for certain that that isn’t true. In fact, maybe it is true. But I tend to think that people make the decisions that are right for them and that if they were that unhappy with their lives then they’d do something to change them. I don’t typically subscribe to the idea that they will then come to you in your dreams to share with you their regrets, but I have started more than one intimate relationship based on a dream I’d had, both of which ended up giving me what I needed when I needed it, so I guess I won’t completely write it off either.
P.s. when the bat was in my trailer last night I definitely video taped it and took pictures on my phone because I thought “Oh my Goddess what if this is my clairvoyance coming in?!” It wasn’t. It was a real live bat. Flying centimeters above my head..

 

…a couple hours later, still December 28, laying in the trailer back bedroom…

I went back to bed to meditate, but first I paused the meditation (I downloaded 20 of them for my getaway to, first, heal, second, get me through 6 days with my family and very little cell or internet reception) to pull my sweet dog Dixie up into bed with me. As I lay there stroking her ears with her head on my chest I thought about how grateful I am to have such a special creature in my life and I told her how sorry I am for neglecting her on the days that I’d been very sick. I then heard noises in my trailer similar to the ones that I heard last night before the bat appeared and, truthfully, got scared. I said, “Universe, please keep me safe tonight from anything that could enter my trailer or harm me in any way.” Suddenly Archangel Raphael and Archangel Michael appeared. Not appeared as in I could see them but I knew they were there. I thanked them and thought about how little I know about the Archangels in general, and then asked Archangel Michael to please cut some chords for me.
Please cut any chords that I no longer need.” No, that doesn’t feel inclusive enough. “Please cut any chords that do not serve my highest good.” No, that doesn’t feel right either. “Please cut all of my chords in a way that is loving and in the highest and best for everyone involved.” Bingo! I felt him cut more chords. In this moment I had a flashback of the dog Jake that we had for a few days when I was a kid. We got this dog from the SPCA and within the first few days of having him he ate the cover to our hot tub. That evening, or one not long from there, I went to brownies and came home to a house with no dog. I was told he was taken back to the shelter. I felt so heartbroken and betrayed. Here I was given this animal in my life and just as quickly he was taken away with no notice or the chance to say goodbye. Come to think of it, I think the same story might apply to my childhood cat… But I may be mixing them up. (I later mentioned this to my mom who said I didn’t remember the whole story, which is likely true but I didn’t ask about it). Anyways, what I came to realize in this moment was, I’d never forgiven my parents for making this choice without me or for not giving me the opportunity to say goodbye. So I decided to turn this around, I don’t want to hold onto that anymore. I asked myself, is this a blockage that is ready to be released? The answer was yes. Suddenly I got a pain in my left shoulder followed by another one in my lower-left arm that had been bothering me on and off for the last two days. I knew that this was where my blockage was to be released, I somehow knew that it was moving up from my bottom left abdomen, past my heart and sticking in my left arm. I don’t know how I knew this but I did. I asked the angels to help me move my energy through and they told me that it was my turn. So that’s exactly what I did, instinctively, without ever doing it before. Is this what downloads feel like?! This was a form of emotion code or therapeutic touch. This was energy healing! I feel as though this was my angels gift to me for finally starting to talk to them.

Now, I can meditate.

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