December 27, 2017

Do you ever wonder if your not the weird one?
My whole life I’ve just assumed it was me. I didn’t play sports like my brother, so that meant I had nothing in common with my mom. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t understand my dad. Apparently we pick our parents though, something that I have yet to come to understand but hope to by the end of this blog that I hope will become a book. If not, it always leaves me content for my next one!
Of course I made friends, ones that I tried to make into family but that never really panned out. Definitely you could have called me codependent and you would not have been wrong. Eventually I got a cat, named Milano, but even she seemed to prefer my dad’s lap over mine, and then later a dog named Dixie, but Im sure she’ll come up later on.
I don’t think that I was a super odd kid or anything, probably falling somewhere in the middle of the social spectrum, but I just couldn’t seem to stick to one friend group; never getting quite close enough to anyone besides the few over the years that I clung on way too tightly to. Eventually those who I did hold onto would either need space or find a new flavor of the month/year/ decade and I’d be left on my own to panic about how I’d never get on without them, only to eventually realize that they were never very good friends or that I actually don’t think I ever really liked them in the first place.
Wait what?! I could not like somebody who liked me?! This still is a concept that I always seem to forget. How simple and absolutely freeing is that? I don’t have to like everybody who likes me. I do not need to value the opinion of everybody. I am not responsible for how other people perceive me. If I had understood this in the core of my being at a younger age I would have been golden!
Well, truthfully probably not. The universe would have found a way to fuck me anyways. After all, how else would I learn what I chose to be in this lifetime to learn? Does everyone have to learn things the hard way or is it just me?

Man up and spread some love

Today’s society seems to have some sort of ideation that they cannot show love to another person before it is shown to them first. And furthermore that they don’t want to show more love to a person than they are receiving from said person. No one can communicate without ego or fear anymore and I think it’s absolutely pathetic.

I try to always ask myself, “if this person were to die before I spoke to them next, what would I want them to know?” And this helps me say the things that I feel need to be said. No one can read your mind, no one knows if or how much you care about them unless you share that with them somehow. This does not have to be in words of course but it does have to be in a form that the other person understands. My main understanding is through words and that’s why I use that example.

My very good lyme friend suffered a massive unexpected heart attack last week and if her husband hadn’t been there to do CPR she would not have survived. In an instant she would have been gone and would she have known how much I love and appreciate her?

My mom was in a car accident last weekend. Everyone was ok, but it could have been much worse. Would she have known how grateful I am for her or how lost I know I’d be without her?

Lyme can unexpectedly stop your heart in an instant, lyme carditis, and although I don’t expect that that will happen to me I suppose no one expects it until it happens… have you told me everything you want me to know?

Our society is so scared of vulnerability that saying a simple thing like I love you and I am grateful to have you in my life is paralyzing for some people. I have distanced from some friendships because they simply cannot say these things and I don’t understand how someone could let their fear and cowardliness get in the way of what could be a wonderful, loving, supportive friendship or relationship.

What is so scary about spreading love and making sure your loved ones know that they are loved and appreciated?

If someone in your life was in an unexpected accident and died tonight, what would you wish you had told them?

My experience with Selena Jones at Better Still Day Spa


If you are not open-minded to different forms of spirituality, energy work, clairvoyance, past lives, spirit guides or angels, please keep scrolling, this post is not for you.
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I had the most amazing experience this morning in an energy balancing session with Selena Jones, in Better Still Day Spa in Ladner. Selena is such a lovely woman, energy worker, past life regressioner, clairvoyant, and I’m sure so much more. We started with emotion code, clearing emotional blockages from years past. Of the several emotional blockages I’m sure I have, the following 5 were ready to be released.

  • Grief – approximately age 17. I knew instantly that this grief was over Taylor Purdy’s death.
  • Crying – crying is a great way to release emotion, but causes issues when a person either cannot cry, or cannot stop crying for an extended period of time. The pendulum told us that this was from approximately age 23 which confused me. I asked if I was living in my first basement suite, no. I asked if I was living in my second suite upstairs, yes. I asked if it was regarding _____, an ex-boyfriend of mine, the pendulum jumped!
  • Confusion – approximately age 3. Of course I can’t remember this and I have to think like a 3 year old would think – it could have been something minor that only a 3 year old would have been confused by. We asked which family member this confusion involved and it was my dad.
  • Betrayal – approximately age 4. Again, how would I remember this? And I would have to think like a 4 year old. This betrayal involved my mom. While she was clearing this emotion I asked where it sat in my body, Selena told me that it sat in my abdomen. I then asked why the back of my left shoulder hurt. She explained that the heart has memory cells, and this is where the heart drains through the left shoulder and down the arm, out the finger tips. Even though I don’t recall all of these memories, my heart did.
  • Insecurity – age 19. This one I was hoping would come up as I knew I needed to let go of it, that being said, I wasn’t aware that it would show as insecurity although it does make sense. Even though I was sure I knew what it was, I still was curious about how effective this all was so I asked, is this to do with ____? The pendulum jumped so strongly in a yes. While we were clearing out this emotion, arch angel Michael, the angel of protection, came to my side and said, “a man’s strength is meant to be used for protection, not aggression.” And suddenly I was crying. This was the name of the man who raped me.

Once Selena could see that these blockages were cleared she began to do some hands on work. At one point she told me she was seeing one of my past lives. In this particular past life I was an aboriginal woman in a warmer climate. I was sitting in the dirt with a wooden bowl in my hands, passing it around and we were each drinking from it. I was participating in some kind of ceremony that related to communicating with the stars and galactics. I strongly valued connection, friendship and communication with different cultures and races. I found this so interesting because in my current life I am so drawn to aboriginal culture and hold significant value in communicating and learning about all cultures.

At this point Selena asks me if i get dejavu very frequently, I tell her all the time! She tells me that I have been time travelling in my sleep and when I get dejavu it’s because I have seen it before. I’m not going to lie, this is where I got skeptical, however I do trust in her abilities so I’m looking forward to exploring this further. She told me that I have been travelling to the galactics in my sleep and communicating with alien life for some reason. She couldn’t tell if I have a heritage of galactics or not but for whatever reason communicating with them is very important to me, and that if I wake up feeling like I haven’t slept (which I do most days!) that is why.

Then Selena tells me that if I ever hear something in my right ear, to listen to it. I ask her why she says that and she tells me that I am clairaudiant. Apparently this means that instead of being clairvoyant where she can see things, I can hear things. I do tend to be very skeptical about the concept of people being able to see or hear things from a higher-power, and the mental health educated side of me tends to lean more towards the possibility of mental illness than the ability to actually communicate with the dead or angels or any form of higher power. This being said, when I was a child I would hear voices. Always in my right ear. I remember it used to drive me crazy I would beg them to stop. As I grew older and struggled with depression and anxiety I would continue to hear voices once in a while. I brought up these voices to different doctors and we explored the possibility of psychosis but I never really fit the definition. I shared this with Selena and she kindly laughed and responded, “Denise you don’t have psychosis, you’re psychic,”. I have always felt as if I had some form of psychic ability within me even in a small amount, but I’ve always been too afraid of judgement to admit it.

Throughout our session she let’s me know of different angels, spirit guides, and animals that come into the room for me. At one point a small curly haired dog comes up on the table and lays between my legs. At another time a cute, small dragon comes in and sits by my feet. There was another angel there as well, a woman dressed in yellow, she says she’s been with me since I was 10 years old. Behind me stands an approximately 8ft tall male angel. He has a large presence, a great big laugh, and he says he’s been with me since the beginning and shows pieces of my truest self, who I’m meant to be. He says that I am meant to use my voice, I am meant to be heard and to be seen. That communication is a large part of my purpose in this life. Selena would not have known this but this aligns so well with what I’ve felt pulled towards my entire life.

Also in the room throughout the whole session, standing quietly off to the side observing, was one of my spirit guides. Spirit guides apparently are people who you’ve typically known in past lives, though sometimes in this life. At first Selena told me it was a young man, tall, and my first thought was that it could be Taylor. But no, Selena said, he was tall and thin and had blonde/red hair and was showing her his beard. He would have been mid-twenties. That was all the information I was given about this spirit guide, so on my way home from work I asked him, “spirit guide, what is your name?”

“Nathan,” he said. I thought that’s weird I don’t have any friends named Nathan. Then I asked, “what lifetime are you from?” He responded, “1989”. That’s the year before I was born. I asked one more question, “what is your last name?”. “Johnson,” he responded. And I thought to myself well those are pretty common names so I wonder if I made them up. But why? And why would those names and year be on my mind? I don’t have any friends named Nathan or with the last name Johnson and I have no idea where 1989 came from. So could I possibly really be clairaudiant? And if so, what is my purpose with it and how could I ever share that with anyone without them thinking I’ve lost it?! There is no question that humans are both an energetic and physical body. Sound is energy, light is energy, emotions are energy, everything on the planet is some form of energy. So, why couldn’t that energy be formed as a voice in my head from another energetic body, though not visible to me?

Something pulled me to Selena. Knowing about her for quite a while there is no explanation to why I suddenly felt that I had to have a session with her right away. There is no doubt that I have been feeling called and pulled towards spirituality, healing stones, essential oils and all sorts of new concepts recently. I can’t shake this feeling lately (and if I’m honest, all my life but stronger in recent years) that I have a higher purpose on this earth that I have yet to connect to. I have always felt the energy of those around me and it felt like a curse because I couldn’t control it. I was burdened with so many negative emotions and I couldn’t understand where they were coming from or why.

Today’s session left me with so many answers and just as many questions, but I am so grateful to Selena for sharing her gifts with me, and I’m so excited to explore this world further.