How to talk to your struggling youth about mental health.

Through my positions as a youth with lived experience in the child and youth mental health world and advocating over the years, I have been asked by several parents how to talk to their children who are struggling. I can’t imagine what its like to be a parent of a child with mental health struggles, but I do know what it’s like to be on the other end of it. I’d like to think that I’ve grown and matured enough to have some kind of an idea of how to help them, but the truth is, its hard. And what works for one child and parent is not necessarily going to work for the next. There are however a few common parent-child situations that I hear most often, that I feel I can comment about.

Obviously the advice in here is based on my own life and the stories I personally hear from youth, parents and professionals, and by no means do I believe that this even begins to cover the vast spectrum of family dynamics or mental illness.

When your child says that they are experiencing something, believe them. And by “believe them” I don’t just mean silently believe them while telling them that they’ll be fine. No child or person wants to feel depressed, or

Read More

Self-care is a septum piercing.

So today I did a thing – to my face – against all my friend’s and family’s advice (besides 2) – and it made me think about self-care.

I have seen a flooding of internet posts on self-care in the recent months, even more so in the last week with the recent tragic Hollywood deaths by suicide, as well as many equally as tragic deaths by suicide that happen every single day to people’s families and friends and coworkers and lovers all around the world. But did you know that the media isn’t recommended to talk about suicides because there are studies that show that this can trigger other people to end their lives too? I don’t know where I stand around that one because to be honest I haven’t read the studies, and I have mixed feelings surrounding the obviously complex pro’s and con’s surrounding the balance between raising awareness for a continuously-rising suicide rate, the risk of triggering someone else who’s already struggling, and the feelings of the deceased’s loved ones. What I do think we need to talk about though, is how to better take care of ourselves, each-other and our communities so that possibly, we can help keep our people healthy and happy. The scope of mental health is so vast and there is still so much that we don’t know. Maybe you are perfectly healthy as it is, both mentally and physically and don’t need any help ever, but let’s face it that’s not the case for most people. Which is why I love that self-care is becoming trendy, but I want to tell you that it’s not all about pedicures and bubble baths with a glass of red.

Read More

Something Slipped in your Drink? Why We Need #MeToo

This afternoon some friends and I ended up at an impromptu get together, where I asked one of my guy friends to grab me a cider, in exchange for me sparing him from my next, sure-to-come feminism lecture. Little did either of us know that the form in which he brought me my drink was about to spark an important one.

Ladies! When a guy brings you a drink that is either already open or poured into a glass, what is your initial reaction?

Men! Do you have any idea why this might worry someone? Because of course my friend – who logically I know would never do this to me (otherwise I never would have asked him to get me a drink in the first place) – thought I was paranoid.

He thought I was paranoid because a) he is not a woman and has never woken up with no panties on, next to a man, with absolutely no idea

Read More

How to be happy

I wish that everyone would just be honest with themselves and others, about what truly makes them happy. If, instead of being taught to follow the lifestyle steps and patterns that society tells us is “right”, everyone was taught to find what makes them happy, and to build their life around that, the compound effect would have a vast, positive impact on the whole world.

Yes, we all need to make a certain amount of money to live on, we all have to pay taxes and be contributing members of society. I’m not saying that everyone should quit their jobs and live barefoot and carefree on the beach. What I am saying, is that if you are truly honest with yourself about what style of actions, behaviors, thoughts,

Read More

Meditation; a game changer.

You’re talking to the girl who wouldn’t take yoga class because she’d burst out laughing during savasana – the meditative, still, yoga posture that always ends a session – out of the pure discomfort of being still.

The girl who would rather be doing burpees or mountainclimbers or deadlifting than rest day or yoga/stretch day.

It’s become clear however, that I’m not coming out the other side of Lyme the same girl I went in as.

Never would I have thought that I’d be paying money to sit with a group of people while

Read More

My new dating profile

Releasing myself from societal norms and 300 characters or less.

We live in a world that is afraid to be seen. We hide behind computer screens and then wonder why we don’t have any real relationships. We don’t want to listen to other people’s problems because they’re too real and we don’t like having to face that kind of reality but then we wonder why we’re all alone in our own. All we want is a date, a relationship, but we’re too afraid of being rejected to ask anyone out on a date. We stay within our comfort zones of 300 characters or less and a few photos and talk about how much “fun” our lives are. No one wants to do the hard stuff so we pretend it doesn’t exist until we can’t pretend anymore. But when we finally stop pretending

Read More

Juice Fasting and Social Media Detox!

I am on the end of day 3 of my juice fast, day 5 of my cleanse and day 3 of no social media or cell phone use (phone/text). My Facebook, Instagram and snapchat are all logged out and I’ve only used very minimal email for communication for the past 3 days, and only when necessary.

It’s been beautiful.

I’ve meditated, read, and detoxed. I’ve spent more time in complete silence than I probably ever have before. I went over 24 hours without speaking a single word to another person. I haven’t left the house besides the vet on Friday, and my only visitor was one girlfriend today.

The juice fast has been great, as has been the whole cleanse so far. It is 2 days of raw food, prepping my body for fasting, then 3 days of juice fasting (making your own juices as per their recipes not store bought), and then tomorrow will begin 2 days of easing my body back into solid food. I have to be very careful during this time to follow the meal plan strictly. In the first few days it’s easy to follow the meal plan because it’s new, but now that I’ve had 3 days without solid food and I’m nearing the end, I find myself really wanting those chocolate almond bites that are prepped in the fridge for Tuesday nights dessert! After a juice fast though, my body is not prepared to digest many foods such as leafy greens and I’m sure it’s not prepared to digest the fat from all the coconut oil in the chocolate almond bites that I want to eat!

Read More

Who taught you not to love yourself?

The following is quoted from Inga Muscio’s book, “Cunt”, in her interview with Soraya Mire, a Somali woman who also produced the film, “Fire Eyes”.

“In countries like mine, the law is blatantly against women. What we do have, though, is love and community. You never think only of yourself, you always think of your neighbors and family, too.
The problem with a lot of Western women is they think they can help me, that they know what’s best for me. Especially feminist women. They come into conversations waving the American flag, forever projecting the idea they are more intelligent than i am. I’ve learned that American women look at women like me to hid from their own pain. They can’t face their pain, and mine is so obvious, they think they can help me without looking at

Read More

Balance

This weekend I did very little, because I chose to do little, not because my body forced me to. That’s not to say that I was bursting with extra energy, but I could have pushed myself to do more and I didn’t. I did a huge grocery shop Saturday, organized my meds, and attended a baby shower today. Besides that I vegged out and binge watched Grace and Frankie on Netflix (I’m going to be Frankie when I grow up LOL).

I ate chocolate and pho and cheese and crackers and drank tea under a blanket on the couch. Alone. Happily. By choice. My laundry basket is full, my dishwasher is clean (and full) and my kitchen is dirty. For the first time in a month. And most significantly, the first time in ages (a year? Maybe 2?) that it’s dirty because I’ve chosen to chill and binge Netflix and not because my body has forced me into submission.

Read More

Rising numbers of deaths by suicide – what can you do? #BellLetsTalk

*Trigger warning, this blog post discusses mental health and death by suicide and may be hard for some people to read. Also I want to be so abundantly clear that absolutely no one is to blame for anybody’s death by suicide and that no matter what, if someone in your life has died in this very unfortunate and devastating way, it is in no way your fault or responsibility. This is in no way a message of blame, but a message of what I believe we can do as a society to create positive change. I truly hope that this post doesn’t sound too harsh or offend anyone, I do honor that we are all just doing the best we can, but truly, ignorance is only bliss for the ignorant and I do believe that education helps create understanding and change.*

We are in the energy of a full blue super moon, and I spent the weekend in and out of panic attacks for the first time in ages, and I just spent the morning on the phone with a friend and their psych nurse and their family, and I keep learning about children under 10 making suicide plans, and its #BellLetsTalk day.

Wow. Deep Breathe.

I also cannot believe how many suicides I’ve heard of recently (in case you don’t know,

Read More